indiescream.

The Haunted World of El Super Beasto.

Remember when you were younger and you’d sneak staying up late to watch cartoons on adult swim and other programs like that because all the older kids were watching them and you wanted to see them as well? You’d watch it and as a kid be excited because there was profanity and drawings of boobs and violence. It was cool. The key word is “was”.

The Haunted World of El Super Beasto is director Rob Zombie’s first animated film and it’s based on his comic of the same name. I have never read his comic but I can assure you that after sitting though this piece of shit, I won’t be rushing out to find it any time soon. Now, if it’s any consolation, I like Zombie’s other films. I mean, I really like Zombie’s other films. Yes, his work has its faults but nonetheless, I am a huge fan. El Super Beasto? Not at all. I literally had to force myself to sit though the whole 77 minute running time. This, by the way, felt so much longer than it actually was.

The story follows the perverted/sex crazed Super Beasto (voiced by Tom Papa) who is a wrestler of sorts and his sidekick/sister Suzi X (voiced by Zombie’s wife, naturally). The overall plot is that Beasto kind of falls for a stripper named Velvet Von Black (Rosario Dawson doing an extremely irritating accent but doing it so well, I had no idea it was her) and then Dr. Satan (Paul Giamatti) wants her so he sends his gorilla servant to take her and then Beasto goes on an adventure to get her back and calls Suzi away from her battle with Nazi zombies so she can assist him. Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

It’s immature, boring, unfunny, and just plain childish. I’d heard it was extremely messed up and sick and it even starts out with a “warning” about the content which was completely unnecessary. There was nothing here that I even batted an eye at and the only semi amusing aspect of the film is an old man who operates an elevator who has a laugh that made me smile. That’s all this flick got out of me, a smile.

If you’re a fan of cartoon nudity, painfully unfunny jokes, Drawn Together style animation, and/or are one of the youngins I mentioned above, you’ll love it. All I can say is that it is just plain bad and I honestly hate saying that. I expect low brow humor and an overabundance of profanity/gore/sex in Zombie’s films but this was just sad.

As much as I disliked this, I have extremely high hopes for his upcoming film The Lord’s of Salem. Looks to be dark and nasty, the way I like my Zombie. Until then, I’ll just pretend this never happened.

★